Chapter 28

As I get ready to move, I’m finding a lot of things that I forgot I kept (and getting rid of most of it). This evening, I found a card from my last birthday and it said “27 is going to be a great year for you.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.

When I look back, I feel like I’ve taken a bit of a beating. I stopped making my health and well-being a priority and let myself fall into a hole. I let external influences keep me down in that hole. When I reached my breaking point, I turned a corner and began to learn and grow. Growth and change are painful, but it has certainly been worth it. 27 has had some pretty awful moments, but this was the year I learned how to care about myself. I spent so much of the past few months just learning about myself and realizing that I spent such a long time not honoring that. I have just under 3 weeks of 27 left and I want to make the most of it. If you catch me wasting precious moments or being unkind to myself, call me out. Here’s hoping that 28 starts off on the right foot.

change

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Still here, still me

It has been an embarrassingly long time since I last wrote. I’m still here and still fighting. In about 2 1/2 weeks, I’ll be moving and I hope to leave some bad memories behind. What has changed?

I’m still benzodiazepine-free (2 months!) and I have been discharged from therapy. Sometimes I still slip and forget to do things for myself because I’m otherwise occupied with working or cleaning/packing/etc. I forgot how much work went into moving, but it is exhausting. I need to add meditation to my daily to-do list so I remember to sneak it in. Aside from the stress of moving, I have been able to manage my anxiety really well and I’m really grateful to have those skills.

Once things get settled, I hope to get back into more of a writing groove. Until then, I’m trying to figure out how to make 28 my best year yet.

With that, I’ll leave you with Rachel Platten…